As ever, it’s been a miserable few months. Hard to believe, really, but it really, really isn’t getting better. Except for Greta Thunberg, she’s pretty greta (sic). Read on for an appropriately furious tirade.


As one internet commentator put it, it’s hard to say we weren’t expecting something unpleasant to be found in Justin Trudeau’s closet, but that doesn’t make it any less disappointing.

Having to explain why this skeleton really is a skeleton to our racist uncles — “blackface is like super offensive, mate” — has not been the most fun of autumnal tasks.

At least, thank god, no-one has found out anything unpleasant about Jacinda Ardern yet.
The fate of polite liberalism the world over rests upon her antipodean shoulders. (Don’t mention Macron, come on now.)

British politics remains an absolute shitshow

Someone made a blonde racist wig the prime minister and it’s now repeatedly tried to trash the judiciary, the legislature and the public.

A blonde prime minister. | Picture: DocChewbacca, Licence: CC by SA 2.0

Amusingly, the talking wig also used the politically motivated murder of a sitting MP as some sort of excuse for ignoring all democratic norms to force through a ‘by any means possible’ exit from the European Union.

All the while, this same wig has potentially given a lot of public money to a girlfriend, and employed a large Gollum-esque creature as his chief of staff.

Iran’s lack of friends 

At this year’s UN General Assembly, Hassan Rouhani said the international community didn’t have enough respect for Iran.

Foolishly, the bastard seems to think, like a rather dimwitted school bully, that he can just make people be his mates.

I mean what else would explain his nation’s rather aggressive friend-taking policy. Frankly, Evin prison is full of his new friends, I’m sure he’d tell you. On the other hand, Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe, Kamran Ghaderi, and a growing number of others probably have a few choices words for him.

The Blue Girl Sahar Khodayari, tragically, made her voice very clear.

Right to be forgotten

Unfortunately apparently the media needs to spend all of its time deleting factually correct articles from the past. This is such a good use of time for an industry on its knees. Imagine making laws which leave investigative sites at death’s door. Your correspondent, it may be clear, thinks this is very silly.

A glimmer of light

We’ve already talked about Greta T and the Climate Strikes (a new favourite band at l,HQ) but beyond that, nah, we got nothing. Autumn is the time to really ramp up the misery.

Cover photo: FreePhoto4Life (Flickr), Licence: Public Domain

  • retro
    Sam Volpe

    Former Editor

    Samuele Volpe is a real person of age and location undisclosed. For all enquiries please hire a private detective. Or follow him on Twitter @samuelevolpe

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