eursquare200

Europe without privacy, is opt-in pornography the start of liberty’s decline? What would Europe look like in 2020?

This article is mostly for my 2020 audience, but if you haven’t yet made it yet to this illustrious year, dear readers, I guess that you can still read along. Maybe. Just know that I find your lack of ambition to bend the laws of space-time and build a time machine disappointing.

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A government censor proudly inspects the equipment keeping you safe from porn. | Image: flickr user

Anyway, 2020 has been a pretty cool year so far. Just last week, the various anti-piracy organizations celebrated the last illegally downloaded mp3 file. The perpetrator was a 14-year old – his parents now have to pay their collected retirement funds to the lawyers that are suing the family for copyright treason.

“Copyright infringement” was found to be too wishy-washy a term for the gravity of the crime; it was changed with the gentle encouragement of lobbyists two years ago and perpetrators are now placed on the sex-offenders register. We all got informed about it – there was an extensive ad-campaign about the necessity of the change. Not paying for consuming entertainment is like robbing the government of taxes, and as we all know, this is also treasonous.

Of course, there are always some who disagree with the direction our wonderful state has taken. I personally don’t trust them, especially since their browsing habits and personal e-mails are published when they become too troublesome. You couldn’t possibly imagine the freaky stuff that some people say in their personal correspondence!

Some of the most vocal critics have opted in for pornographic website access, others were found to be browsing websites related to drug use. I am happy to see that PM Cameron’s pornography-registration scheme has unearthed the shady truths in people’s lives. They are definitely not fit to criticize the government, since they are such perverts! EU Internal Security is fully within their rights to publish such information publicly – after all, we need to know everything about those who criticize the current state of affairs – and would someone please think of the children!

Giving some qualified government service men and women the ability to check your personal correspondence is a must. After all, I have nothing to hide. Do you?

And now to the main topic of my article – Venezuela just agreed to give asylum to notorious EU traitor J. Smith! Smith, as you all know, is on the Interpol most wanted list after she submitted classified data on the EU e-mail checking system to the public.

Armed with this data, some undesirable elements of the population and terrorists in general might try to circumvent the monitoring protocols, which would be a disaster for internal security. My heartfelt respect goes out to the governments of the US, Canada, Russia and China, who refused to grant Smith asylum. There are even some allegations that Smith committed rape in Finland, which just goes once again to show, that just like Assange and Manning, people who betray state secrets to the enemy are sexual deviants.

There are people who like to label Smith as a “whistleblower” and call the e-mail checking system “snooping”. Such cowards are always anonymous – they don’t want the risk of exposing themselves to increased surveillance. Actually, what Smith did was atrocious – in these insecure times, we need to guard ourselves against the dangers of terrorism by any means necessary. Giving some qualified government men and women the ability to check your personal correspondence is a must. After all, I have nothing to hide. Do you?

Then there are those that talk of the “chilling effect” that increased government surveillance has on journalists. I would like to counter such claims with exhibit A: myself! I can assure you that not a single person, other than my editor, read this article before it was published. I require nobody’s approval to make my opinions public, it just so happens that I tend to be supportive of our government.

As a side-note, I would like to remind those of you that haven’t paid their public broadcasting fee to do so soon. State television and Internet pages are an important source of information on our government and wouldn’t exist without your support. Unfortunately, this support cannot be made voluntary, because there are people who don’t know what is good for them. Also know that copying this article and its accompanying photographs without personal authorization from me, the author, carries a threat of copyright treason prosecution. I feel safe knowing that the copyright will not expire at least 200 years after my death, thanks to recent lobbying in Washington and Brussels by the Disney corporation.

Thank you for reading, dear readers. In parting, I would like to leave you with an adapted quote from one of my personal idols:

We have to light “the spark which is resulting in a moral uprising and will end only when the whole sorry mess of twisted warped thinkers are swept from the national scene so that we may have a new birth of national honesty and decency in government.” – Joseph McCarthy

How is your Europe 2020?

  • retro

    When not writing insulting articles, Milen Iliev works as a geophysicist and reads and writes science fiction by the kilogram. Born in Sofia, grew up in Sofia and then did some more growing up in Bremen, where he now lives, he is a passionate Eurofederalist, even when the EU tries to regulate the curvature of his bananas. Active in politics on the national and European level, passionate about climate change, human rights and the Internet. Twitter: @miln40

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